Profiterole vision

As March is Brain Tumour Awareness Month I thought I should write something. I feel I have moved into the category of ‘living with an inoperable brain tumour’. I am not undergoing any cancer treatment as I am still waiting to hear from Sheffield. I did phone them this week to chase and they had STILL not heard the results of my most recent tests – a visual field test – which I had done on 12th January. This was to test my peripheral vision – or as I kept calling it – my profiterole vision. I had the test done in the Eye Hospital on the ground floor of the JR building of which Mr G’s office is on the 3rd floor. Considering the execrable administration I have encountered, I nearly offered to walk the test results upstairs myself, but I thought that may be rude. How I wish I had!

The test itself was tragi-comic. They covered my right eye and with my left I had to look at a screen where essentially lights are flashed on in various places, and I had to press a button whenever I saw a light. So the lady flashed the lights and I duly clicked the button. She mapped my profiterole vision onto a chart and then she moved on to my right  eye.
Eye Lady: “How much vision do you have in your right eye?
Me: “None”
Eye Lady, with no sense of irony: “Oh. I can’t test you then. I can only test people’s vision who can actually see. If you can’t see then you need a sight test with an Opthalmologist. Please take a seat in the waiting room and I’ll see if I can find one.”

Eventually an Opthalmologist was discovered in the Eye Hospital (amazing) and she set up the machine to do my right eye. She gave me the button and started the test. Now of course I know what the machine sounds like when the lights are flashed on and off, but I see no lights, or indeed ships.  So really what I should have done is hand carried this entirely blank chart up three floors and put it in Mr G’s pigeon hole myself.

So still ineptitude among the NHS admin staff and still no date for Gamma Knife treatment. There may be some light at the end of this tunnel, but I can’t see it. With either eye.

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About tarquinchronicles

I have recently been diagnosed with a brain tumour which I have called Tarquin. Tarquin was a Roman emperor who was inordinately cruel and vicious but who was eventually banished and died in exile. This is the chronicle of the rise and (hopeful) fall of Tarquin the Tumour.

One thought on “Profiterole vision

  1. This may not be helpful but after my Stroke (and resulting eye damage) my optometrist did a visual field test for me as part of my standard eye tests. In fact it was only at this point (6 months post stroke) that they realised my eyes had been affected at all (impressive huh!). Anyhoo he has a good reputation with the local eye hospital and they were happy to accept his tests. The tests cost me £25 I think and he gave me the print out at the end of my test – yes it prints it straight out as the last beep occurs…well almost! I simply took it with me to the hospital on that first visit. There were many subsequent trips but when I was having these 3 monthly check ups, a VF test and follow up, it took a couple of hours on the same day…not entirely the same situation as yours I grant you but if it’s test results you need then it is ridiculous it has taken so long.

    Good luck

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